Stop Your Negative Thought Spiral: Three Steps To Break Free

You know, I’ve got to admit, when it comes to spiraling, I could give anyone a run for their money. Once my brain hits that trigger, it’s like I’m on a fast track to Negative City. My husband affectionately calls this side of me “Spiral Face,” and honestly, he’s not wrong 🙂

Ever wonder why this happens? Well, while we’re still figuring out the ins and outs of the brain, there’s some solid research on a little something called the amygdala. Amyg-duh-what? Yeah, that’s right, the amygdala! It’s like your brain’s personal safety officer, constantly scanning the horizon for any hint of danger. And when it senses trouble, bam! It floods your brain with cortisol, that stress hormone, putting you in full-on fight-or-flight mode. Pretty handy for dodging predators back in the day, but not so great when it turns everyday stressors into full-blown crises, all because your brain’s got a negative spin on things.

So, what’s the game plan? While there are a bunch of techniques out there that I love and use with clients, I’ll let you in on what I have been practicing during my “Spiral Face” moments 🙂

1. Breathe. Seriously, breathing is like hitting the reset button for your body chemistry. It flips the switch from that fight-or-flight mode to a more chilled-out, rest-and-digest vibe. Just take a deep breath in through your nose, and let it out through your mouth. And here’s the trick: make that exhale a smidge longer than your inhale. Try something like inhaling for 4 seconds and exhaling for 6. Repeat that cycle about 5 times, and you’ll feel the tension ease up.

2. Externalize. Picture that negative thought spiral as its own little entity. Give it a name, a personality—heck, even imagine what it looks like. For me, I’ve got this companion I call “Manic Mindy”. She’s all about order and cleanliness, and when things get too cluttered, she goes into overdrive. By seeing her as separate from me, it’s like I can step back and observe her overwhelm without getting sucked in.

3. Empathize. Talk to that externalized part of yourself with some kindness and understanding. Validate its perspective; empathize with its struggles. I’ve found that when I meet “Manic Mindy” with compassion, she tends to ease up a bit. It’s like she just needs someone to acknowledge her feelings, you know? So instead of trying to fight her urges, I just sit with her, nodding along like, “Yeah, I get it, you really want everything to be tidy right now. I see you. I hear you.”

So bottom line, stopping a negative thought spiral is less about stopping the actual spiral and more about emotionally supporting the spiral. The more we empathize with our parts, the less frantic they have to become because they feel validated, which is one of the most regulating things you can do for someone.

You’ve got this.

Andrea Eaton, LCSW